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Hurry up and wait…meeting with the surgeon

cancer is an asshole

I have a confession.  For those of you keeping tabs, last Friday, I met with a highly recommended surgeon to discuss what options we have for treatment. After finding out that I would need to wait a bit longer than I would have preferred, an hour and a half to be exact, I took to Facebook to vent my frustration.  Valued friends commiserated with my frustration, offered sympathy for the wait,  and most importantly pointed out that this could not always be helped and that this was simply going to become a regular part of my life…rater than complain, I needed to plan ahead and pick up a few new books on the Kindle.  Heard.

On that note, I picked up a few new books, this weekend:

  • Max Lucado – God will use this for Good: Surviving the mess of life
  • Beth Moore – Breaking Free: Discover the Victory of Total Surrender
  • Jessie Humphries – Killing Ruby Rose
  • Phyllis T. Smith – I am Livia
  • Jules Verne – The Mysterious Island

And created a praise Spotify list to listen to while I receive my treatment.

Back to the doc’s office…Dr. H’s staff was kind and went out of their way to help us feel comfortable and well-informed.  Dr H, himself, was definitely worth the wait.  After the exam, he took the time to thoroughly explain all of my previous test results, what the proteins are, and discuss the possible treatment plans.  Sitting in cool and sterile doctors office, surrounded by art created by someone in Dr. H’s family, he took the time to calm my nerves, to let me ramble and laugh at my lame jokes.  He made the all important eye contact while explaining some of the harder to hear stuff, like “double mastectomy” and “genetics testing”

And basically now we wait…

We wait to see if my HER2 test results come back positive.  If so, this will open up my treatment opportunities to a more aggressive treatment over the course of six weeks.  As crazy as it sounds, this is the result we crossing our fingers for…this just seems like a stronger and faster treatment.

Dr. H has ordered genetic testing  to test for the BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes and of course that means if I am positive, then my cousin, sisters, and even the girls will have to be tested.  Just this thought leaves a pit in my stomach. But I refuse to let fear rule my life.  I’m going to take things one step at a time and not borrow trouble where there are none.

We can’t move forward without the results from the HER2 test, at the very least.  I am anxious to get started.  Dr. H asked me what I had had in my mind when I came in that day and, as I told him, honestly, my only goal was to get a plan going that would have me fighting this cancer as fast as possible.  So now, I’ve crossed all the things as we wait for the results and get that other testing lined out…the sooner, the better.

I stand amazed…

at my community.  They have all given me so much by way of support in the last two weeks.  Any time I am feeling low, I find that one of them has done something to make me smile.  Whether it’s coloring their hair blue, supporting our fundraising efforts, sending me songs and jokes, crying with me, researching ALL THE THINGS, calling me, building Spotify lists, or sending me awesome cancer survival gifts, my friends and family rock the support.  I’ll never be able to tell them how much I love them and value them.

What’s next

My visit with the oncologist is scheduled for early June, but I’m hoping to be able to get in earlier – perhaps due to a cancellation – until then, I’ll get the genetic testing done, and wait for the results from all the testing to come in.

I’m also working on scheduling the kids’ summer.  Since most of my treatments will need to take place during Summer Break, I want to keep them as busy as possible.  Even though I can’t set anything in stone, I can at least get an idea of who would be willing to keep them when.  I’d rather shield them from all of this as much as possible.

Please continue to pray with us, send positive vibes, happy shiny unicorn glitter poop, or whatever you like.

Most importantly, I plan to fight.  Cancer has no idea what it has come up against.  I do not plan to go at all, let alone silently, into that good night.

It’s time to kick cancer’s ass.

**There is a link to the fundraising page and the cafe press store within the image on this site.  All proceeds go to helping our family pay our medical bills.**

See y'all later!

About It's Me, Amanda

Amanda is a southern belle caffeine addict who spends her tiny amount of free time writing here.


  1. HUGS! We are praying every day.

  2. I’m in awe of your positive attitude. You are an inspiration. When you find yourself feeling down, have a cry and then scream that Amanda’s army is going to kick ass!!!

  3. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I would want a plan, too, so I’m glad the doctor took the time to listen and council and hopefully, those results come in faster than expected.

  4. Amanda, you’re in my thoughts & prayers. I’m so glad you have such a great surgeon that has taken the time to go over everything. Some out there are not as caring. You have such an awesome support group & family. I wish I was closer to take care of the girls when you need someone. Maybe one weekend your Dad can bring them down to Beech Bend Park & we can take them along with my grandchildren for some fun! Just remember we are all here for you & will be praying! God is Great! He will get you through this! Hugs to you!

  5. Amanda and family your father and I have share some memories with your oldest daughter. I was his photographer when your oldest daughter was around 3; I think, since then we became close friends. I want extend my heart to yours and know that I will be here for you in prayer. Although I was a photographer, now I have my phd in psychology if you need to vent please do so! We can beat this beast! Love -n-hugs

  6. There’s no other way to face it than head on and you’re doing it with everything you’ve got. Good for you. The rest of us are ready to help when we can — out in front or behind the scenes. We’re at the ready, friend.

  7. You’re awesome, and we’re here for you! <3 ya girl

  8. I’m so glad a plan is coming together, even if part of the plan includes waiting. I know you got this, and I’m so glad Dr. H sounds like he is a really great member of Amanda’s Army. We will have to send him a shirt. MWAH, and talk soon. xoxoLM

  9. Hugs, Amanda. We are praying for you and your family.

  10. I did not know about your diagnoses Amanda. I am so sorry you are going through this. I had just liked a statement you said on Facebook about loving your community of online friends. And then I saw #amandasarmy and clicked over. Lifting you up in prayer. Waiting is so difficult. I’m waiting now for a biopsy on my cervix. I believe with everything in me that He uses everything. Even the time we spend waiting. I am so glad you have your army! ❤️

  11. Supporting you through prayer and friends at the Providence Baptist Church. Hope to meet you soon through some event. Sending ((((hugs)))) and prayers your way. Waiting IS difficult. God Bless !

  12. Amanda, I don’t even know if you remember me, but I met you on a press trip and we sat together in an airport. You left a huge impression on me and I thought you were pretty amazing. Now, I think you are even more amazing. Know that I am another one added to the huge army of well-wishing, praying, warm fuzzy sending army that is out here.

  13. Just wanted to let you know that you and your family continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

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